she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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