Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
