somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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