i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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