Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
