I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
