A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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