he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
