I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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