i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
