Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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