Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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