Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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