Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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