I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
