the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize