she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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