My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Randomize
