He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize