well most of my day revolves around power hour
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize