Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
