sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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