There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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