I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize