I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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