dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
