YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i already hear my dad disowning me
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
