Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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