they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize