her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
