Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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