If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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