Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
