And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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