Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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