just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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