so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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