Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
