Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this just has baby written all over it
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
