Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
