lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
