from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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