Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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