Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
