We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
