No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize