Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
