question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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