We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
