He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
