woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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