the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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