he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
