Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
