Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
