he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
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He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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