Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
