Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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