That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
