Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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