You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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