I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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