She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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