Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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