You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
